Hi guys! It's been a very very long time since I last updated my journal and so as my works... its been in a very long artist block as well as I've become stoic which caused me to be very uninspired.

But lately emotions have been stirring inside me again... emotions of regret, never ending what ifs, despair, insecurity, sadness, yearning, emptiness, but in spite of all that I wanna believe that maybe I'll have a better day to come. I've lost sight of my principles and soul searching because of my candy flavored yet conceited goals (that is what I've realized). I've become so serious in art (as well as career) that I forgot to enjoy while doing it. I forgot that I used do it for fun, for expression and to share the dreams, fantasies, imaginary worlds of mine to other people. To be able to communicate my ideas and feelings through images. To serve as an inspiration to aspiring artist... it seems I've failed to do so... I've failed myself not only as an artist but also as a person...

I don't really think that it is completely a bad thing that I've become emotional lately, for it made me see things clearer and set my goals to proper path. It all began when I started watching this Japanese series(just finished episode 3), it is titled puropo-su daisakusen. It stirs too many emotions out of me (which means it may be boring for other people or a high possibility of not being able to relate). It just reminds me of someone... but my case is not as worse as the main character of story though the catch of it is that he has a chance to make things right(which is very irritating for me in a sense that she is letting a girl like Nagasawa Masami slip away)... well I can do that but I think it is best for me to move on.

Anyway, to make things short I intend to watch an episode before painting so I can put my emotions in my painting. Just to inform everyone... yes I'll leave this account to create a new one. I've been known by many with these username (they even call me mickyoko in our office). It carries too many memories, so in a way I think it impedes me from moving forward.

I've already have lots of works in progress for my new portfolio (though I'll still be including old but repainted works). Hope that I will still receive your support once I created my new account (months from now).

For everyone who has supported me and who are always there for me...
I thank you. Kore made osewa ni narimashita...

~Michael

PS By the way if you know any company with decent work conditions (preferably game development not here in Philippines) looking for a 2d artist (I know 3d and After effects compositing as well), if you would be so kind to give me some details it would be much appreciated. I currently have job right now but I want to be able to live by myself without trying to depend on my parents as well as take further challenges that would help grow more as person and also in my career. I think it would really help me know myself more as well.